We’ve all heard the phrase “everything that glitters isn’t gold” and I couldn’t agree more. We see something that looks good and get blinded by the “shiny object,” not realizing the depths of the allure, and the damage it could later cause. This can be related to various aspects of life, but for now it has everything to do with relationships.
Once I started back doing art in August 2020, one of my first pieces was “Everything That Glitters.” This piece was inspired by what I had been enduring that year with healing and reflections from my last relationship which ended badly at the beginning of 2020, not long before the Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine started. That relationship was one from hell. The epitome of toxic- encompassing mental and emotional abuse throughout. I would have never thought I’d endure such and never would have expected such from him, because I was blinded by the “shiny object”- his outer appearance. I won’t lie, when I first laid eyes on him, I thought he was the finest thing I’d ever seen. So when became available I just knew I had to have him. When we first met, we had what seemed to be an instant connection. Perhaps that connection came from the fact that we grew up on the same side of town and shared mutual friends and acquaintances- yet I never knew of him when we were younger.
Initially we found ourselves in a situationship that went nowhere fast. After that we fell out of touch for a while and eventually reconnected about a year later. That reconnection started off as another situationship and was supposed to stay that way but it evolved into what was the worst relationship ever. From the beginning, the relationship was toxic but for some reason I ignored the red flags- I guess I was trying to see how red they’d get. SMH. To know me is to know “girl you know better- wtf were you thinking!?” Once you’re blinded by the shiny object and think you’re in love, you’ll allow yourself to go through hell and not even realize it. Maybe I’ll go into more detail in another post but let’s just say this guy is a master manipulator and I was starting to lose myself to those manipulative tactics. Thankfully I snapped out of it when I caught him cheating (and that is a-whole-nother story for another time). The process of healing was just that- a process. During the process, I reflected a lot, and amongst my many lessons, the fact that “everything that glitters isn’t gold” has been one of the major lessons. Who I saw as so fine on the outside turned out to have one of the most ugliest insides of anyone I have every dated or been in a relationship with. The last time I saw a picture of him, he looked so unattractive to me, but of course that’s because I know beyond what the eye sees. Thus, the true beauty of a person is inside of them- After all one day our exteriors will fade.
During the relationship, we took and posted many pictures and of course got all of the heart faced emojis and feedback such as “y’all look so happy”. Ha! The photos glittered but the relationship definitely wasn’t gold. We looked good together but were definitely no #relationshipgoals. This is a reason we should stop idolizing others’ relationships based on pics and videos. We should stop desiring someone based solely off of their looks. No matter how good it looks on the outside, underneath what we see as gold could indeed be darkness.